BROWN NOSER

The Brown Noser is Brown University's satirical newspaper. It was founded in 2006. Its current editors-in-chief are Henry Block, Declan Johnson, Annie Cimack, and Dana Herrnstadt... In an adorable showing this past week, Felix Vandergreed, an utterly impish little man, did incredible numbers among whimsical women. "Felix has something really special," local whimsical woman Lacy O'Malley told reporters as Vandergreed pranced through a field of daisies, whooping and hollering the whole way... Recent archaeological excavations at an ancient cave have uncovered brilliant prehistoric cave art which is really just the shittiest representation of a deer ever. "Here, we can see the astonishing depiction of a now-extinct prehistoric deer, etched with a bone blade and tinted with red ochre," announced archaeologist Monica Anders, gesturing towards a painting of three ugly lines that looked absolutely nothing like a deer.