PAULETTE TRUEBLOOD - Key Persons
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- Publisher: Trafford, 2006. ISBN
The Berchts' story about their personal experience with infidelity is uniquely and honestly presented from the point of view of the wife, the husband and the child.
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- Publisher: Hudson House, 2003. ISBN
Weil contends that adultery may be a family disease, and that the study of family history can offer insight, understanding, and forgiveness in a relationship stressed by adultery. She suggests approaches to
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- Publisher: Adams Media, 2005. ISBN
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- Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 1989. ISBN
Dr. Tavris bases her positions on serious research. She points out that anger can be a self-reinforcing mechanism with unhealthy outcomes. Her models and techniques help us understand what "sets us off." The recent edition includes discussion on road rage, sports violence and the anger of young women.
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- Publisher: Simon & Schuster: 2009. ISBN
The tendency might be to dismiss this book as outdated, because it was first published in 1937, but to do so would be a mistake. Carnagie's nine rules for effective leadership are tantamount to communications commandments.
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- Publisher: Harper, 1999. ISBN
An insightful book that begins with a substantial self-evaluation exercise that many have described as "life changing." Easy to understand, with emphasis on areas of depression that can be addressed without drugs, but also includes a guide to antidepressant drugs that may also be an appropriate avenue of treatment.
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- Publisher: Hyperion, 1999. ISBN
Dr. Then provides a framework intended to help women decide whether or not to stay marriage to a cheating spouse. She draws on the stories of real people, and examines the social, personal, and
financial forces at work in marriages, and advises on how to handle infidelity, with emphasis that women need to make their own lives as fulfilling as possible.
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- Publisher: Amber - Allen, 2001. ISBN
- Publisher: Amber - Allen, 2002. ISBN
A unique perspective. Ruiz was raised in rural Mexico by a curandera (healer) mother and nagual (shaman) grandfather. His mission is to carry forward the wisdom of his Toltec heritage, in this case as it applies to love. He uses parables to bring his teachings to life including the power of self-love and the notion that sometimes we are guilty of self-abuse, inflicting "emotional poison" on ourselves.
Shamanic teacher and healer, Ruiz' passion is to pass on the wisdom of his Toltec heritage. His four agreements are simple: Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best. The magic lies in the how and why of these principles that Ruiz masterfully brings to life.
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- Publisher: Beacon Press, 1995. ISBN
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- Publisher: New Harbinger, 2005. ISBN
Just what the title says - it's a workbook. It offers proven techniques and exercises that you can use in your daily life to address anxiety disorders and phobias presented in an easy-to-use format.
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- Publisher: Scribner, 1997. ISBN
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- Publisher: Northfield, 1995. ISBN
Dr. Chapman has identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service; and Physical Touch. Each is illustrated through real-life examples. Notably, this series includes special editions directed at men, teens, children and Hispanic speakers.
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- Publisher
- Publisher: Harper, 1990. ISBN
Ms. Lerner begins with the message that "Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to." Her book is about how to resolve the common arguments that occur in relationships. She dives right into it from the platform that a woman's anger can be a normal reaction to a culture where interpersonal threats and conflicts all-to-often get "resolved" by being overpowered by the man's anger.
Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger, gives us a look at examples of real-life relationships that are challenged, and teaches the principles of better partner communication - essentially written from the woman's perspective. Solid work on the subjects of triangles, and setting boundaries.
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- Publisher: Atria, 1993. ISBN
- Publisher: Holt, Updated 2007. ISBN
Hendrix is a couple's counselor who lived through the pain of his own failed marriage, which spurred his personal research into what he describes as the "practice of becoming passionate friends." Along the way, he created a therapy he named Imago Relationship Therapy. His goal is to help us get beyond the "Inconscious Marriage" and grow into the "Conscious Marriage".
Imago Relationship Therapy principles applied to the single life situation. Useful applications for gay and lesbian relationships.
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- Publisher: Ballantine, 1994. ISBN
Dr. Fisher, an anthropologist at the American Museum of Natural History, puts forth new, and surprising, explanations for why men and women fall in love, marry, and divorce, grounded in a perspective of the evolution of mating behavior. Her thought-provoking approach addresses questions like whether or not women should accept that their interest in sex is secondary to their biological need to reproduce?
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- Publisher: Free Spirit, 2004. ISBN
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- Publisher: Pretext Press, 1996. ISBN - 10
A frequent talk-show guest, Jane Miller has the ability to take a joyful approach to tough subjects. She offers tools and techniques that can guide phobics toward relief, through application of attitude and perception changes.
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- Publisher: Harper, 2005. ISBN
Janis Abrahms Spring and Michael Spring. Publisher: Harper, 1997. ISBN: 0060928174
In this sequel to her bestselling After the Affair, Abrahms Spring delves into the marriage therapy topic of forgiveness, including the notion of acceptance as an alternative when forgiveness is not possible. She categorizes forgiveness into: cheap forgiveness; refusing to forgive; acceptance and genuine forgiveness. Using insights based on case studies she provides an in-depth view of resolution as a contributor to improved personal relationships.
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- Publisher: Harvest House, 2007. ISBN
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- Publisher: Free Spirit, 2006. ISBN
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- Publisher: Orion, 2004. ISBN
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 1995. ISBN
Dr. Gottman takes a scientist's approach to the topic - he actually studies couple interactions in his "love lab," and gives us insights, often surprising ones, into couples that have managed to stay together. He has identified characteristics of healthy marriages as well as of those in trouble.
A companion to Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Gottman includes more self-tests, checklists and exercises to help couples establish a framework for coping with their differences.
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- Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing, 1998. ISBN
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- Publisher: Taylor & Francis Group, 1997. ISBN
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- Publisher: Taylor Trade Publishing, 2005. ISBN
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- Publisher: Wiley, 2009. ISBN
An intriguing, and controversial, book intended to empower women by helping them understand what their spouse is really thinking about. Draws from interviews with men who have admitted to sexual affairs.
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- Publisher: Puddledancer Press. 2003. ISBN
An important work focusing on using communication (talk) to achieve peace and partnership. Rosenberg urges us to listen empathically and communicate using authentic feelings and needs. The latest edition of the book introduces us to the concept of "self-compassion," pointing out that if we are internally violent toward ourselves, it is difficult to be passionate toward others.
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- Publisher: Main Street Books, 1998. ISBN
This is the book that I most often recommend because Yapko puts depression in simple perspective: causes, diagnosis and treatment. Then he explains the patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving through real-world examples, and offers practical suggestions on what to do to feel better.
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- Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 1993. ISBN
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 2002. ISBN
Weiner-Davis focuses on helping us understand that trying to change your spouse into the perfect mate is a futile endeavor. Her focus is on identifying what's possible and looking to yourself to achieve positive change, through the principles of short-term therapy.
In this follow up to her best-seller, Divorce Busting, Weiner-Davis serves up a seven-step program for revitalizing the troubled marriage, with a special emphasis what to do after your spouse has asked for a divorce, or has even moved out. The topics include: how to identify marriage-saving goals; how to move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting; how to look for positive signs of change and how to stay calm, and optimistic.
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- Publisher: Harvard University Press, 2000. ISBN
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- Publisher: Newmarket Press, 2003. ISBN
Vaughn is the personality behind AOL's "Ask Peggy" forum. She presents her findings as one who has first-hand experience with affairs. Ms. Vaughan debunks many of the common approaches that
people take to prevent cheating, and offers helpful suggestions for recovering from the emotional devastation, including how to choose a marriage counselor.
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- Publisher: Touchstone, 1986. ISBN
This work is simply a classic on the subject of interpersonal communication, with emphasis on listening skills, assertion techniques, conflict resolution and collaborative problem solving.
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- Publisher: Wiley, 1992. ISBN
Gilbert bases her material on the Bowen Family Systems Theory, developed by respected family therapy pioneer, Murray Bowen. This is an excellent treatise on the subject of relationships, tending toward the technical side. The author is a proponent of understanding family dynamics to understand how people's actions in relationships might echo their family system.
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- Publisher: Zebra, 1995. ISBN
Edell provides a remarkably comprehensive discussion of what makes for a strong marriage. He discusses the reasons why affairs happen and what to do to prevent them. The core proposition is a seven-step "reconstructive" program for couples that are willing to recommit to one another. The steps are defined as Admission, Ventilation, Identification, Vulnerability, Communion, Acceptance, and Reunion. He also offers advice on what to look for in seeking professional help.
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- Publisher: Harper, 2005. ISBN
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- Publisher: the Guilford Press, 2000. ISBN
- Publisher: the Guilford Press, 2005. ISBN
Putting on the Brakes: Understanding and Taking Control of Your ADD or ADHD
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- Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 1999. ISBN
Despite his commercial success, and reputation for "guru-ness," Covey continues to deliver simple, workable, well thought-out concepts, this one for effective family communication. While the work is a re-interpretation of his famous "7 Habits" directed at the work environment, this is more than a re-packaging - parents can find relate to the stories and tips that emerge from the eyes of Covey's own nine children.
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- Publisher: HarperCollins, 1999. ISBN
Being in a relationship with someone who lies is extremely difficult. Dr. Forward examines the syndrome of men who lie to women and offers no-nonsense advice to women what to do about
it, with emphasis on identifying sociopathic behavior and avoiding men who have it.
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- Publisher: Underwood Books, 1997. ISBN
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- Publisher: Bantam, 1993. ISBN
Many consider this book to be the definitive tome on the art of negotiation. The idea of using Ury's "joint problem solving approach" techniques to turn adversaries into negotiating partners has application to family relationships. Ury explains that the challenge is to convert a confrontational situation to a cooperative creative problem solving process. The author directs the Global Negotiation Project at Harvard University.